I’m an overall positive person who tends to exhibit a lot of energy. I say overall because I’m not always on the brighter side of life all the time. Anyone that says they are, are either liars or are hopped up on some kind of drug. Being in neither category, I would say that the term positive-realist sums me up just right. I see the world as it is but have faith that everything is going to be fine. Better yet, everything is going to be great!
I’ve been told on several occasions that I always seem bubbly, pleasant, and that I always have a smile on my face. To which my reaction is always- Who? Me? Really? After hearing the same things over the years made me ponder – I mean, they all can’t be lying right? Eventually I began to realize that even though I didn’t feel wonderful all the time, people sensed my energy. Energy I believe to be that of trying. I always tried to be positive no matter what. I wasn’t always like this…Being positive and having faith that life will work out takes just that- work. I am so grateful that I had been blessed with loved ones and favourable circumstances that gave me the fortitude to stay on the right track to become the woman I am today.
With the drudgery and hardships that life doles out to each of us, we all have reasons to be a little less than sunshine, some more than others. We tend to be focused so much on our inner workings that we forget our presence in the grander scheme of things- we are a small part in this universe but are still very valuable . Each of our lives matter. I recall being plagued with depression for several years and when I look back at who I used to be it almost seems like a blur. I wasn’t really living at all. I honestly don’t even remember much. That’s what being negative does to you- you live life on auto-pilot. As cliché as it may sound, life really can be beautiful. It has also been my experience that positive things happen to positive people.
Without further ado, I would like to share a few simple guidelines that I live by that aids me in keeping my peace and to live life in a positive way- I know they will help you on your journey. Even if it is just to simply make it through the day.
Live in Gratitude
If you think you have a hard life, remember that there are other persons in a worse off position. The fact that you even have access to the internet right now to read this is a great blessing! Negative people are persons who tend to feel sorry for themselves (I should know). Buck up! So your job sucks- at least you have a job. The electricity has been cut off in your home due to lack of payment- at least you have a place to sleep at night. There are people dealing with issues that you cannot even imagine and even some of those persons manage to still stay strong and positive in the face of adversity. The journey in life isn’t always fair. Can you imagine if it were? The negative person tends to say ‘why me’ and forgets to recall that they are not as benevolent as they would like to believe. If they realized their personal short-comings and how they have probably injured others, they would be grateful that life may not be as fair as they would like it to be. Life does not work in a linear way. I have seen what I deem to be awful people spared from injury without giving a thought of gratitude. However, despite their acrimonious tendencies I have seen horrible things befall them, whether directly or to their loved ones. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a hope that persons get their comeuppance- that’s just evil. But it is a fact of the universe, what comes around, goes around. This law applies to you, me, everybody. We are like dust in the wind- here today and gone the next. But I have seen the pain and poison of negativity so why not choose to live in peace by being grateful? Yes the grass may seem greener on the other side, but the burdens one person faces may be too much for you to bear- remember that.
Accept People for Who They Are
This was so hard to for me to do and admittedly I am still a work in progress with regards to this guideline. There are billions of people in this world- some you’ll love, some you’ll be indifferent to, and some you’ll plain ole dislike. It’s O.K. to dislike someone but not O.K. to hate them. Hate is a very strong and toxic feeling. You can dislike someone- but for the right reasons. Disliking persons for ignorant and superficial reasons spurs stupidity, take racism for example. But disliking someone for willfully hurting others I feel is perfecting fine. We can all dislike someone the likes of Hitler and it be justified right? I’ve known people who have wrong to others, who knew they were doing wrong, but didn’t care. I would spend time to try and change them, to let them see the light, to even my own detriment. Eventually I realized (especially with the aid of tough love from my husband) that it wasn’t my place to change people. I had to work on me and be the best me I could each day. Sure I could guide others and pray for them, but they have to be the ones to make the change and see themselves for what they are. We all do.
So what about the persons who you just don’t get along with- like the parent or co-worker with whom you never see eye to eye? Look at it this way, everyone, and I mean everyone, was brought into your life for a purpose. We all affect each other in some way. When you carry the burden of other peoples flaws you not only forget the personal short comings you need to improve on, but you give them energy that you could be using for something else. Life is pretty simple. When you accept people for who they are you are able to see the good in them and what they bring to the table, no matter how small, and then you can deal with them more empathically. More importantly, you can save the energy it would take to pout and try to understand them.
Acknowledge that there are Bigger Things at Work
Whether for you it’s God or the universe– when you acknowledge that you are a small part of a bigger picture you feel liberated with that truth. This shouldn’t make you feel small or insignificant, but privileged. Several factors had to be in perfect alignment for you to come into being- you were not an accident in any way. I can’t say anything more than that…the journey to realize this truth starts with your first step to finding that out.
Let It Go
Easier said than done, I know. This takes some practice. Some say you must ‘Forgive and Forget’. I used to do that. It didn’t work out for me. I kept getting myself in the same situations that left me more broken than before. I wasn’t growing because I wasn’t learning. I had a brain but I wasn’t using much common sense I admit. Honestly, a snake bit you would you stick your hand out to pet it again? Now I subscribe to ‘Forgive but don’t Forget’. There is a fine line when sticking to this one. If you say you forgive someone but keep dwelling on the past hurt and blaming the person for the injury, that’s not forgiving. To forgive is to let go of the pain- not for the other person’s benefit but for your own. It’s like carrying a boulder up a steep hill, when you carry the burden of pain. Or maybe you need to forgive yourself. No one said that of forgiving would be easy or could be done instantly. If you get a cut it takes time for a scab to form then fall off to expose the renewed tissue- but picking it at is what reliving the past does. You may pick at it so badly that it gets infected and eventually kills you. So how do forgive and not forget? As I said, this takes practice. But the general idea is that you are aware of the past, are careful to not be caught in a similar circumstance while attempting to not hold on to the pain. As with a cut, time does heal all wounds. If you practice to find the middle ground between the two, you’ll get there. Eventually letting go will come more easily.
Live in Expectation
If you can’t remember what it was like to be a young child, just take a moment to observe one at Christmas time or close to their birthday. You tell them that they are going to get a particular toy and they beam with excitement and expectation. They don’t question if they are going to get it, they know they’re getting it. It is only over time that this expectancy dims, maybe that Christmas they didn’t get the toy and the trend of disappointments reoccur throughout their life. To live in expectancy doesn’t mean that you’re going to get everything you desire. A lot of the times, what we desire isn’t what we need at that very moment, or even at all. Have you ever noticed that for some people things always seem to go right and that they are always happy and for others things always seem to go wrong and they are stuck in a rut. It’s because that rut is in their mind. If you expect little, you get little. Seems like a contradiction, but it’s not. The thought patterns of the brain manifests in reality, we see it with persons who have psychological issues like hoarding- their pattern of not letting go has manifested in their living environment with vast amounts of clutter. To live in expectation means to expect that something better is around the corner. Its saying, ‘I know I didn’t get what I wanted that time but I trust that something better that what I had in mind is on its way’. I am no scientist so I have no scientific basis, but in my experience it works. What scientists will tell you however is that people with happier outlooks tend to lead happier and healthy lives- coincidence? Not in my book.
I hope this has helped you in some way and I look forward to hearing from you.
Positive thinking begets positive energy- energy that you can feel and others can see.