Today marks ONE YEAR that we made it official- our First Anniversary. No longer will my husband and I celebrate monthi-versaries. We have officially made it through the first year unscathed and happier than ever. Those myths about the first year being the hardest were a lie…at least for us.
Notwithstanding, it wasn’t always easy but it was still a great journey… and I credit that to GOD, all the love and support we received, as well as being unofficially married after having known one another for so long. Always wanting to share my little epiphanies, in no particular order, here are some Life Lessons from my First Year of Marriage.
You Can’t Hide Anything
Remember when there was mystery? Things like farts were an inconceivable phenomena and your little OCD quirks were only known by you and God. These will be very apparent in the first year, regardless if you’ve known one another for years. So be prepared to be embarrassed and sometimes irritated. But not to worry, you’ll and have a good laugh. You and your spouse will have fun reenacting and mocking each other mercilessly.
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You WILL Try To Hide Things
Have an addiction to candy that your spouse doesn’t condone? You will try to hide a stash some all over the house to munch on…and they will find it (despite your best efforts).
You’re a Package Deal
This doesn’t mean that you will be together at every outing but expect the “Where’s your wife/husband?” question quite often. You will also soon recognize that you really are a team. I recall having a funeral to attend for one of my best friends parent and I wasn’t sure that I would be able to attend. My husband, without even second thought, said he would go to represent me. This brought tears to my eyes as I knew this would have been a bit difficult for him to do personally. That’s just one instance…if you’re down your partner will be there to step in.
Change is Constant
Had a comfort zone where things stayed pretty much the same? Say goodbye to that! In the first year change will be constant so get used to it. Whether it be due to arranging to buy your first home, planning for children, even the sudden influx of bills- there will always be something new to tackle and tackle them you must! But not to worry, most of the big changes will be exciting (despite the looming anxiety).
You WILL Fight Over Little Things (like food)
Of course a marriage is a partnership where you share everything. Two becoming one and all that jazz. No matter how small the portion my husband and I will share….except if it’s dessert. Asking who ate the last piece of pie will become commonplace in the first year. Little fights will also take place with regard to watching the latest movies without the other. I have yet to watch the last Star Trek movie….and my husband claims to have not watched it but yet refuses to watch it as he lost interest …but I know better.
Compromise…There is NO CHOICE
If you weren’t good at it before, in the first year you become skilled at the art of compromise. You’re a team after all. As much as you try to have a 50/50 relationship you will soon begin to realize that oftentimes it is 60/40 or even 100/0. You learn to not sweat the small stuff and let your spouse have his/her way…sometimes.
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There’s Still So Much to Learn
You will keep learning new things about your spouse. I’ve known my husband for about 10 years and even in our first year of marriage I was still surprised by some of his stories.
This was the biggest and most important lesson. I have witnessed so much in my life, especially in the first year of marriage, that gives me faith that the Big Guy upstairs has been taking care of everything.
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Savings? What Savings?
Loved ones will be very supportive and donate gifts and cash in your first year. But if you think you will be able to save it…get that thought out of your mind. These will be going into every day bills, paying back for that wedding you had (no matter how small it was), getting household items, you name it! You’ll get used to it. But have hope…this will get a bit easier as time progresses.